After a bad couple of months in which I didn't feel creative, didn't feel like blogging, didn't feel engaged in life except for work, I'm on my way back. One week ago today I had knee replacement, but I had no idea that changing a part of myself physically would also fix my head. The last post I entered was about SURRENDER, and here I am again. I've had to surrender to this profoundly painful experience to realize that it has actually saved me from my own rut. I've surrendered to the pain and find that it has made me more strong in my determination to get better each day. I've surrendered to the 6-8 week removal from normal life in order to gain a serenity that only comes from rest, relaxation, acceptance, and plenty of time with myself and my thoughts. It was as though my life was screaming, "Somebody stop me!" ... and surrendering stopped me in my tracks.
"Surrender has never been my favorite word. I always thought it had only one meaning, which was to lose and be defeated. There is also a spiritual meaning to the word. To surrender is to accept that there is a waxing and waning rhythm to events and to trust that good things can happen without our needing to control them." -- Peter Block, Stewardship
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